Sathyanarain's Weblog

I had the ‘opportunity’ of having breakfast with two friends of mine who happen to be women namely, Sharanya and Suraksha.

Now I know what to expect when you take two women to breakfast.

I’m now richer by gyaan! Gyaan on where can one find better slippers at lower prices, where you get good heels and where you get good flat slippers.

—

After a while,

Suraksha: We should meet up for lunch some other day again.

Sharanya: Cool! We’ll make it a post Madras Week Lunch!

Suraksha: Ooh! I’m so excited!

Me: Mmm… The Sambhar Idli is delicious.

Sharanya: We should make it breakfast and not lunch!

Suraksha: yea. So we can have a leisurly food!

Sharanya: Ooh! I’m so excited!

Me: The chutney is great too.

—

Again some talk on where you get slippers in Adyar. Apparently, there is a potti kadai near the tea shop at 11th cross street, where you get awesome heels.

—

The crux of the breakfast conversation was this!

Sharanya: Shall we go to City Center.

Suraksha: Cool! I’m in!

Sharanya (turning to me) You coming?

Me: Hmmm… I…

Suraksha: You going shopping?

Sharanya: Yea. I need to pick up a couple of lingeries!

Me: WTF! Why’re you calling me for that!

Sharanya: Eh! Whats wrong! Anand has accompanied me once!

Enna Koduma Saar idhu!

Team FIndNearYou.com had the opportunity to dine with two of The Three Amigos of jazz namely Sharik Hasan and Adrian D’Souza (Namma ooru karl Peters was missing) the other day at Barbeque Nation. Ram’s niece, Preeti who is in school had tagged along.

There were some really funny conversations involving Preeti.

—

Preeti (referring to Aravind): So you guys are one team is it?

Me: Yes.

Preeti: So do you guys have an office?

Me (thinking I had heard wrong): Heh? Pardon!

Preeti: I mean, do you people have a real office - with cubicles and computers?

—

During dinner, Ram ordered vodka for himself.

Preeti: I want to have some of that.

Ram: You’ll have to wait.

Preeti’s eyes lit up.

Preeti: How long?!

Ram: Two years.

—

During the drive back.

Me: Phew! They were cool! They are like the top artists in jazz and we were chatting like childhood friends!

Ram: Yeah. They’re pretty cool!

Preeti: Definitely! Also when Aravind asked them… Um… Do I call him Aravind? Or is it Aravind uncle? Or should I call him Aravind mama?

—

For those who didn’t get it.

Mama - slang in Tamil for pimp.

Setup Chellappa - A character of pimp played by Vadivelu in a random tamil movie.

It was a fantastic day.

Kanchipuram, Brilliant weather. 5 shutterbugs. 6 cameras. 1 Renault Logan.

Erina, Joel, Aravind, Me and Alexandra

It says Nothing should be pasted or written on the wall. Funny people.

Will I get the gift voucher from Univercell if I send this to NXG?

Joel and Erina with the local kids

Aravind - Yea, the same guy who laughs at his own ‘jokes’.

Alexandra.

And finally myself! And Alxandra at the background.

More photographs here.

There were some funny moments esp the time when we had actually passed Randhan looking for it. When we asked a village bumpkin for directions,

Me: Anne! Randhan epdi ne ponum?

(How do I go to Randhan?)

Village Bumpkin: Randhan ah? Adhu poirichu baa!

(Randhan? You have crossed it!)

Me: Seri ne. Ippo epdi ne ponum?

(Ok bro. Tell me how to go now.)

V.B: Adhu poirichu baa.

(You have passed it!)

Joel took over:

Joel: Adhu seri ne. Ippo epdi ne ponum?

(Thats okay. How do we proceed from here.)

V.B: Adhu poirichu baa.

(You have passed the place!)

Joel: Podaaaang……

($^%&*$)

I met Alexandra a couple of days back.

Alexandra is the girl who has replaced Lorrene Durret at Alliance Francaise De Madras and is going to be in Chennai for the next six months.

We (Alexandra, Joel, Aravind and Me) were having a long discussion about photography and stuff first at Goethe Institute and later at Fruit Shop on Greame’s Road yesterday. Point to be noted is that Joel and Aravind know French and I dont.

Alexandra asked me,

“Narain, I have a deal for you. I teach you French and you teach me Tamizh. What say?”

*The scene freezes here and goes back to last month when Lorrene was flying back to France at the end of her tenure*

She had worked with Joel on a couple of workshops on photography. They also had a deal that Lorrene would teach Joel French and Joel would teach her Tamizh.

The deal worked great. Atleast thats what Joel told me.

When I last met Lorrene, I managed in my best French and told her,

“Lorrene, Bon Jour!”

And Lorrene shot back,”Dei Kasmalom! Un munji mela yen kaiyya vekka! Adhan email irukku la! Aprom innaa bon jour palaya soru nu! Bemani!”

——————-

As they say Once bitten twice shy, I refused the offer.

Enna Koduma Saar Idhu!

I really need to seal my lips.

Last week when a few of our elderly relatives who think talking about girls, love and sex is bad dropped in and we were having a tough time due to this.

I was bored to death and was watching TV when the Cadbury Calebrations ad was featured in which the kid in hostel doesnt get any gift from his sister. Even as he shows some great histrionics, his sister walks in and blah blah…

Due to extreme boredom, my mom blurted out,”The kid looks cute, doesnt he?”

I shot back,” Yea. But the elder sister looks even more cute.”

Two pairs of eyes turned abruptly towards me and glared while my mom held back a giggle.

I dont know what ate them, but they seemed to be in a hurry and left.

——-

In another instance, I was having a brainstorming session with Ram and Aravind and we were talking about the biking clubs and running clubs in Chennai.

Ram: We need to contact the folks behind these clubs and talk to them

Me: Yea right. Those are jobless fat people who have money to waste.

Ram: Hmmm… I’m a member there.

Me: Well… Um…. Er…. He He He…. I mean… SHIT!

I tried the The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator, which was recommended by Rohit.

Here it goes.

Peter Pan! I just got slapped with a wet salmon - really - I have not updated this since long before Shakespeare wast a boy… You would not believe that I’d been abducted by aliens. Stupid Global Warming!.

I am flat out like a lizard drinking with learning to play lawn bowls, a ticking crocodile, just generally being Snow White to the bodyguards of the blogger I am stalking, my day is filled with fluorescent light from when the nightclubs close to I run out of alcohol. I am avoiding recapture. life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.

I swear on the bones of my ancestors I will make more of an effort to blog more often until the nice men in the white coats come back. If you have kids. The Piccaninnies say I have to!.

Wierd! Anyway, I really have not been finding time to blog.

To know more on what I have been doing, you can check out Aravind’s blog.

In other news, I have been composing a few songs and badly need lyrics. In case, you think we can work together, please drop me a mail. Language no bar. Genre is mostly soft rock, alternative, experimental and nu metal.

Also, if any of you can play any wind instrument, again please mail me. Gapp, are you done with learning to play the tin whistle?

I came to know of the existence (what an irony) of a character called Randy Pausch only yesterday (what a shame) thanks to Shankar.

Let the soul of Randy Pausch RIP.

This video, The Last Lecture is darkly funny and humorously sad - I don’t know how to put it. You have to watch it to experience it. I’m visiting Landmark this weekend to lay my hands on the book, The Last Lecture which is based on the lecture.

*Sniff*

No! This is not a take on When Harry met Sally or our own When Venu met Sonu.

This is an ode to the hundreds of Kanniappas and Muniammas lurking the streets of Madras!

Picture this - its 5 in the evening on a sultry Sunday at Pondy Bazaar, T Nagar and Kanniappa is zooming through on his Bajaj M80 carrying a load of live chicken to the slaughter house at a speed of 80 kmph. Muniamma is standing at a signal and is impatient to cross the road to buy some jasmine flowers for her hair which already resembles a mini botanical garden. She is impatient because it is Aadi thallupadi and she wants to go to Pothys to buy the saree which Asin wore in the movie, Dasavataram before Vadivu does.

Due to this impatience, she starts crossing the road even as the signal shows amber.

As the signal turned to amber, Kanniappa who was still a good distance from the crossing shifts down and revs forward to cross the signal before it turned red.

They both almost collide into each other.

What ensues next is a verbatim English translation.

Muniamma: Customer of death!

Kanniappa: You are the customer of death! Have you informed your folks back home?

M: You are driving like hair!

K: And you are crossing the road like pubic hair!

M: People like you have got fat in the ass!

Who doesnt!?

K (releases the clutch and moves forward while muttering curses) People like her have got audacity in the vagina!

(Translate the entire conversation for yourselves. If you dont know Tamzh, please ask your friends or drop me a mail and I’ll mail you the convo in Tamizh)

Like I said, there are hundreds of Ks and Ms lurking the streets of Madras. So, please make use of public transport or better stay indoors.

I entered Sowcarpet today for the first time in my life.

I studied in a merchant college (rough translation for ‘Saettu College’) and 70% of the peeps were from this place called Sowcarpet, but I had never been there.

Until today.

First the language - its not a scooter, but a ishcooter. Its not school, but ishchool.

Believe me, it was as though the merchant guys (again translation for ‘Saettu Guys’) had known that it was my first visit there that I saw a red carpet there welcoming me. it was then that I found out that it was actually the road ‘painted’ with ‘betel nut juice+shpit’ or paan!

Talk about painting the town red.

One more thing about Showcarpet is that all buildings are similar. All shops are similar. All lanes are similar. All men are shimilar. All women are shimilar. All vehicles are freakingly shimilar - then I realised that these people drove only Honda Activas and no other bike - all in shtriking colours. I saw a pink colour Honda Activa today being driven by a gentleman in yellow coloured shirt and fluoroscent green coloured troushers - E K Sh I!

A typical Shaettu guy

Coming to the buildings, there were all alike - narrow with shops on both shides of the alley and dark, thanks to the power cuts. The shops had names like Priyanka Paan Korner (Thanks to Ekta Kapoor), Agarwal Vastra Bhandar, Bhandari Chaat and there was even a Kareena Kapoor Jewellery Paradise! Since the buildings were dark due to the power cut, we had to grope the walls to reach the top and my hands felt some gooey. I carried on. Upon reaching the top, I examined my hands and to my horror found blood!

I shreiked.

A shaettu then calmed me down and said as a matter of factly that it was not blood, but paan shpit. Yuck!

Coming to the female shpecies - the ones less than 20 were hawt. The ones above 20 were fat! The poor hushband would have to go round thrice to hug her completely!

I entered Showcarpet at around 10 in the morning and left the place at around 4 in the evening.

I left humming - Sharoja Shaman Nikalo.

Enna Koduma Shaar Idhu!

Confirmation: I have nothing againsht Shaettus or Mechants or Northies. Infact, a couple of my beshtesht friends are Northies. Still if you have one, death threats and hate mails can be sent to msnarain@gmail.com

I was having tea outside our office when I spotted this beauty.

I was telling Gapp the previous day the advantages of carrying a camera always with us.

Anyway, here it goes!

Want a closer look?

Enna Koduma Saar Idhu!

More pics here